Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
as a side note pls kill me
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
