Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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