His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
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