i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
