So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
third nipple confirmed
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
