just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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