Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
