I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
