he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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