Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
