So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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