Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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