so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
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