Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
