He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
