I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize