I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
