Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
