i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
