Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
