Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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