Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
