if i can run in heels then i can drive
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
They took my balls.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
third nipple confirmed
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
