and she was petting her beer can
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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