The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
