I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
