I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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