dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
thus making me awesome and them whores
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Sorry my hands just texted you
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize
