she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
