Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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