How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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