i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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