hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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