Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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