my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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