Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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