How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
