yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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