I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
