FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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