no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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