You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Vodka?
Forever.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
