I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
