well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
