You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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