White coat. Heels.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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