You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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