Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
