She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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