I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
