Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
