oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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