My room smells like vodka and shame
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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