see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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