oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
