It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
