Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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