The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
