ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
