jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
